Once there was a young man living under a bridge. He was warm enough and had food enough and had a tragic history which had led him to living alone and out of the cold under the bridge. Everyday a kind hearted lady who lived up the hill would take her daily walk and bring him some new clothes or some warm food, and she would talk to him. His story moved her and every day that passed she came to care more and more for this boy who was her son’s age and could have a bright future if only he got the chance. She saw so much potential in him. Her heart swelled to the point where she asked him to pack up his things and come live in her home.
After two weeks in her home she was upset to find that he seemed incapable of cleaning up after himself, had rejected all the colleges she had shown him, and refused to consider entering a trade school. He ate, he slept, he lounged, and he made a mess everywhere he went. After several months and no improvement she went to her teacher, a spiritual person who had often given her good advice, and she asked, “What do I do with this boy who refuses to do anything, be anything, learn anything. It’s like he’s totally stalled out in life. He’s so young and so bright and I see so much potential in him but I don’t know how to motivate him.” Her teacher looked at her and then said,
“Why are you messing with his bridge time?”
“What?” The lady asked in shock.
“What ever made you think you had the right to interrupt anyone else’s trajectory simply because you imposed your own ideas of potential on them?”
“I wanted to help.”
“Did he ask you to help”
“No, I just thought he deserved…”
“You thought you would interrupt his bridge time, force your ideals on him, take him off his chosen path, and then complain because he did not assimilate with your ideals with how life should be lived?”
“Yes,” the lady answered, suddenly understanding that she’d interrupted the life process of an individual who was on a solo journey to find himself under a bridge, in the silence of a safe place where he had time and room to think and become until life or Source moved him onto his next experience for greater self realization.
The next day the kind but interfering lady helped the young man pack his things, she walked with him back down to the bridge and told him she would visit often and that she wished him well. He was on a journey she did not understand but she did understand that she had almost derailed his journey by trying to force him to live her idea of what it is to live.
If a person comes to you and asks for help, help them. If a person is living in a way that is not in accordance with your idea of how you think they should live, keep it to yourself and leave them alone. I speak as a person who has pulled many people out from under metaphorical bridges and given them love, a home, advice and money only to watch the years pass with no visible growth. When I finally let them go they all returned to the lives they had begun, only they were older and had lost time, in one case decades, because my love was so great, my aspirations for them were so fixed that I held off their suffering, their rock bottom, and the lessons they were meant to learn. Only when I got out of the way did they find the pain that made them change.
Healing is a choice and its tackled in many ways. Some people go to therapy, some people do drugs until they have a mental break and realize they have to live differently, and others work themselves to death because their only sense of value comes from hours of endless contributing and self denial. I’m sorry to those I interfered with. The road to our own personal hells are paved with good intentions which is why, no matter how good your intentions, do not interfere with someone’s life unless they ask you to. The Universal Law of Non-Interference is a law for a reason. All beings are empowered, and as empowered beings they have the right to experience and live as they choose.