We can not create peace through war, or fix a relationship with lies. When we set out to do right in the world we must first determine if we are right with our idea of who we are, and if our notion of who we are is in alignment with the I Am presence that creates all things. Being right isn’t about being justified, it’s about acting from a place of compassion, non-judgment and an urge to hold space for those who are healing and help those who have asked to be helped.

Self healing is letting go of who you thought you were, of what you thought you wanted, and choosing radical surrender to the I AM. Fixing yourself is noticing and not attaching to negative self talk, violent imagery, and imaginings, grudges, spite, and all the other drama addictions that tempt us each day to rise up in unconscious action instead of tolerance and acceptance. When you feel childish resentment rise up in your mind, tell it, “I see you and I let you go.” Unfocused immature thinking should not be judged, is not a sin, or failing, it is just your inner wounded aspects making themselves known. If not acknowledged the memory loop, or enraged or bitter thinking, could sweep your mind down the rabbit hole of destructive thought and away from the present moment where you are truly free, couscous and alive.

Darkness is also a part of the equation and a role we choose to play in this dualistic earth plane. Though we are all one in universal consciousness and formed by the Devine, we are not all called to be the light. I call you my brothers and sisters knowing that we have all traveled on the wheel of life for time out of mind, and I say to you with love, I have seen you in your darkness, and I have seen you in your light, and I know you to be a child of heaven and of the light, and no matter what side of the invisible fence you are on, you are still playing a role that is important to the transformation of our culture, our society, our government, our world, and I will see you and I will know that everything you are and everything you do is important wether you have chosen the light or not. You are the messiah you have been looking for just by showing up in this time of change because you are part of the change we have all been searching for. Free will means you have the right to experience these times in fear or in faith. The light is here for all of us but forced on no one. 

In a seven hour spiritual discourse last night with a large group of friends we came to the conclusion that the I Am presence is not just love and light but also hatred and darkness pulled together into one creative energetic power that, while it is empowering and watching over us, it also remains neutral. When called on it answers, lifting away pain, clearing away confusion, setting lost feet on correct paths, never asking which path these feet have chosen. The paths we choose are up to us, not the I AM. This is free will.

I find the concept of a balanced deity liberating. After a life time of trying to shut down my darkness and step into compassion, love, light, and endless smiling gratitude for everything, I have chosen my own neutrality. I embrace my light and I embrace my darkness. I embrace my loving qualities and I embrace my rage. I am not a door mat and I am not a saint and that’s probably why this blog post feels so lopsided and confused. I want peace and the light but I also understand that I need silence and the night. I think I will end this leaning tower of what-the-fuck by saying no matter how light or dark you feel your energy is, still question it’s reasons and motivations, know that we are all one, meditate, find your faith, help more than you hurt, and if you could manage to not take sides that would be really excellent. It’s almost better not to care right now because at least then you’re not hurting anyone. As John Lennon said, “What if there was a war but nobody came?”